You Are Allowed: Removing Toxic People

You are allowed to remove or distance yourself from toxic people.

I saw this on a post not too long ago and can’t stop thinking about it. (My apologies that I can't remember where or who the post came from.) Do we need someone to tell us it’s ok to get away from harmful people? I guess sometimes we do.

Within the first year of my second marriage, I realized my husband was not what he had portrayed himself as. The person I thought I was marrying was loving, attentive, and treated me like a precious jewel. The person I married was deceitful, judgmental, harsh, and treated me like dirt under his feet. Toxic may not be strong enough to describe the relationship. I allowed it to continue for almost four years before I said enough.

Would it have made a difference to me if someone had said “You’re allowed to get out?” Absolutely. Because that’s exactly what happened. When I finally found the courage to speak out, a very good friend told me “This is wrong. You need to get out.”

It was as if a door suddenly appeared in front of me. There was a way out. Why was I not able to realize this on my own? Why did I have to hear the words before it even occurred to me this was an option?

The reasons are many and complex. That’s a blog for another day, or maybe a book. Suffice it to say, I was too mentally and emotionally screwed up by this time to be rational. It took someone on the outside looking in to see the obvious solution.

Maybe that’s you. Maybe you’re too close to the situation to see the obvious. So today I’m going to be that friend and at least point out the door. It’s up to you whether you walk through it or not.

If you’re in a relationship with someone who consistently drains your energy, manipulates your emotions, makes you feel worse about yourself, consistently puts their own needs ahead of yours, or especially someone who abuses you physically or mentally, this is for you:

You are allowed to remove or distance yourself from toxic people.

Whether it’s a spouse, family member, friend, or co-worker. No matter what others may think, what you’ve been taught, or how difficult it may be.

You are allowed to remove or distance yourself from toxic people.

You are worth more. You deserve more. Remember that.

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“Surround yourself with positive people who believe in your dreams, encourage your

ideas, support your ambition, and bring out the best in you.” ~ Roy T. Bennett

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If you are in an abusive situation, feel like you’re in danger, and need someone to talk to, please reach out for help. If you need a number to call message me and I will put you in touch with someone.